In Doha, after year of push and pull, fights, stress and negative energy I ended my relationship with what was my boyfriend.
A relationship that was becoming harmful for both of us.
Science has recently confirmed that being with a partner we no longer love is harmful to our physical health as well as our phsyche. For the good of both of us and to start a new life I found the courage to end it.
On the 25th of December, Christmas, in Doha, I spent what I can define the worst night of my life. A nightmare I am trying to forget. My boyfriend and I broke up in the worst way possible.
A psychologist that I have been following affirms that the end of a romantic relationship represents a moment of growth and personal strengthening. And it’s true. That’s exactly what happened to me.
But it wasn’t an immediate thing. It took me nearly a year to find the courage to leave him. And I am rediscovering sides of my character that I had lost.
I had gone back to Doha not just to carry on with all my projects, but also to understand if the story between me and my ex was worth continuing. Being a constructive person I hoped to be able to save and rebuild our relationship. But I was so wrong.
Speaking with a friend about my relationship thanks to something she said I realized that I was getting everything wrong.
That night I panicked, I was afraid of the situation I was in and I thought I couldn’t leave him for reasons that now, looking back, seem absurd: I believed that my life would have no sense without him. As if I depended on him.
Me, independent since I was 17!
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My friend Harriet with whom I had spent the afternoon gave me a lift to my boyfriend’s home. I found him furious. And it was Harriet in the car before going in that had whispered: “Samantha you don’t need this! You are independent remember who you are” that woke me from my spell.
I finally understood the enormous error that I had made until then: taking him as a point of reference. He that in the end was certainly weaker than me.
I have always been my only point of reference. And my grandmother.
On the morning of the 26th I left his house. I went to the W Hotel where I stayed for 5 nights and then I left for Monte Carlo. I should have stayed in Doha for another two weeks but for obvious reasons I prefered to celebrate the new year with my friends in Monaco.
The first few days I was a bit down but then, slowly, slowly, I pulled myself together and went back to being the Samantha that I had lost being with him.
I advise whoever is in a situation similar to mine to not drag out relationships prolonging the suffering needlessly but to break it off immediately if inside yourself there is already an answer.
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In these photo I’m in Doha at The Pearl of Qatar Porto Arabia near the home of my ex boyfriend. I wear pants customized by me with pink mink fur and a leather jacket of Vladimiro Gioia . Shoes Gucci.
Samantha De Reviziis
Photo: Ekaterina Ignatova
