Find your way. In this post I will tell you how I found my way and came back even stronger
Find your way ? To find your way you must lose it several times and this is what has happened to me. It also happens to successful people. Don’t ever think that those who have reached high professional and personal goals are free from this. Honestly its quite the opposite.
It is a mistake to think that moving fast is the same as actually going somewhere – Steve Goodier
Often we get caught up by the quickness of everything and feel overwhelmed because of all the commitments and obligations we have, and in consequence we lose our perspective of things.
I lose track of what I am doing, where I am going pretty much every other day, for a month, for a half a day. This depends on many different factors.
Most recently it has happened to me a few months back and I thought ‘I don’t know what to do with my life and how I can find motivation ‘.
But lets start from the beginning.
I had a year full of successful events and incredible experiences, on the other hand this year has been passing really fast and I was under a lot of stress. Unfortunately to see the results of a project you must work really hard. Of course, there will always be people who are extremely lucky and to whom opportunities fall from the sky often, as if it was pouring rain, but this is not my case.
This last year I must have been in Milan not more than two months; the rest of my time I invested it in traveling and projects around the world. During these travels I would follow the development of my team and clients, and at the same time I would work on projects related to my trips.
Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days. – Zig Ziglar
July had been a really tough month and I was on the verge of exhaustion. A member of our team had improper behaviour and with this she had created great harm. Suddenly I found myself without help. Another thing that happened was that one of my investors who should have supported one of my project took his time to think about it, a lot of time. On top of this I had some issues with my family and also some health related ones. Many times unlucky situations appear all at the same time.
Instead of stopping and start thinking – as I should have done – I kept on working non-stop trying to achieve the unachievable. Without putting myself first. I was undone, living to work and to solve problems that for my eyes seemed out of control and really weren’t. Like this you can easy lose your way and lack motivation to do anything.
If you do not know where you come from, then you don’t know where you are, and if you don’t know where you are, then you don’t know where you’re going. And if you don’t know where you’re going, you’re probably going wrong – Terry Pratchett
When you are an entrepreneur, with a startup company with different projects, anything can happen, especially when you are alone.
By being alone I mean not having any associates, a partner, not having a mentor. No one with who you could talk to in a moment of need or in the development of your activity.
Ups and downs are something that everyone experience, mine where more emotional than anything else. The down moments where connected with work and to family issues which are difficult to deal with – especially everything comes at the same time – and if you don’t have a person that is near you, someone with who you feel you can take on everything and keep going further, it is even harder.
The mentor is who helps you find your way , the right way; who inspires you, who gives you the answers to problems with different theories and reasonings that help you confront you tasks proactively.
The mentor is who helps you with intellect to find the optimal solutions without telling the answer straight away.
The mentor indicates you the way, its true, but then you must keep goin on by yourself. Further on I will write a post about the importance of having a mentor at work.
I had a mentor for many years. Now this is a very busy person and cannot dedicate as much time as before to me, but I must say that the few times we speak on the phone he is able to give me fundamental advice.
If you are trying to find your way, and are lucky enough to have a mentor, its the moment to talk to him even if its only a few minutes, this could be enough to find motivation.
FIND YOUR WAY: STOP, BREATH AND RESTART.
Study the past if you would define the future. – Confucius
At some point of this Summer Yana, my photographer, convinces me to detach. My thoughts about this were wrong, disconnecting for me meant, at the moment, to lose my way even more because when you have a billion things going on in your head, the idea of detaching you thoughts from what you are doing gives you the feeling that you are wrong.
I decided to go with Yana to the mountains. We went to Ghigho di Prali to my grandmothers house, who at the moment could not tag along and we ended up going by ourselves.
I didn’t let go completely, but I was able to take some time for me, and this was the most important thing for me, believe me, like this I found motivation.
Walking for many hours, eating panini (Italian sandwiches) with anchovies, I must underline that these you can find only there ans are not to be found anywhere else. I gathered blueberries and raspberries, I played tennis and card games, I even tanned a bit.
It was the best thing I could do to find motivation. I distracted myself from work doing healthy things. My grandmothers house for me is a magic place because its a house full love and positive vibes that immediately took me over.
It was months that I wasn’t able to sleep. In Prali, at my grandmothers house, I slept like a little angel.
Sometimes a change of scenery, house, city, country is healthier than any other luxury. This undoubtedly helped me find the answer to the most important questions of them all: how to find your way and resolve your problems.
The inspiration, that idea that always was there but you couldn’t focalise on, all that happens when your brain is distracted for one second from the creative and administrative processes. Once that you are surrounded by positive energy, once you are full of activities that require no control – as my job requires – right there is when the idea arrives without much effort nor motivation searching.
Almost everything in life has as a solution, specially if the way you have chosen is the right one for you and your capabilities.
In Prali I grew up, I learned to ski, to ride a bike without support wheels, to play tennis and ride a horse.
There I have many great memories alongside my grandmother, my sister and my mother. Prali isn’t necessarily Sestriere or St. Moritz; it isn’t a popular place to go, but it is a unique and distinctive location. It is a true tiny mountain village. Frequently important families from Piemonte and Lombardia go to Prali even it being a little village. If you haven’t read the post my grandmother read I recommend you to read it.
We stayed there for three days. The first two I dedicated them to small excursion and I enjoyed the mountains. The third day I re-planned my entire work plan. I changed my entire work strategy. Mentally I resolved many issues I worried about. Looking at them from a different perspective helped a lot. This means that stopping and taking a different standing point will help you to find the way and come back even stronger than before.
I felt full of positive energy. I cleared my mind and restarted with everything I had.
When I got back to Milano I looked at the problems from another perspective and I was able to resolve, organise and re-plan everything in a more efficient way.
THE SECRET OF RESTARTING: HAVE A CLEAR AND PEACEFUL MIND
If you go into tilt mode, you must find motivation in work and in life.
The house in the mountains full of love, the simple things such as walking in the middle of nature and to be able to dedicate time to me helped me recharge and find myself without effort.
The importance of taking back a few steps is extremely important, especially when we think to be on the wrong path or when we don’t know what to do ow how our future will be. I always knew that my future was in fashion or in a creative field, but finding my way, my purpose in life, the way to express myself was not easy.
Finding yourself: this is the key to understand where to go. When you work a lot and you are focused on many goals simultaneously you forget who you really are. You lose spontaneity. You lose sudden laughters, jokes and everything else. It is not a coincidence that often women who work in business are very cold, at least this is what many people say.
If you are able to keep your mind clear, I am sure that you will never lose your way and you will be able to confront life in the best way possible.
And if often you tell yourself ‘I don’t know what I am going to do with my life’ take a blank page or a word file and start writing how you would like your life to be and the person you want to become: it might seem like a joke or you might think its something silly. But this is what will help you to focalise on what you want to become and to find your way.